Tuesday, January 27, 2009


current mood: uber chill.
currently listening to: "teardrop" by massive attack. aka the House, M.D. theme.

soooooo... i really have nothing to post about, but it's 5:40, i can't sleep, and i haven't posted in... some time (idk how long).

my computer's doing this weird thing where it randomly picks letters to not interpret. like i know i'm hitting the keys, but the letters aren't showing up. whatever.

oh so Hugh Laurie won a SAG award last night. his second, i believe, but don't quote me on that. congrats, Mr. Laurie! the cast of House was nominated, but lost to some other cast which, i'm sure, could never compete. [my tv obsession's cast can beat up your tv obsession's cast! and out-look 'em to boot. i'm sure there has never been a tv cast so full of such stunningly beautiful people, and there probably won't ever be again.]

i have to pee.

OOH, that reminds me, last night's episode of House was really good. it was so involved, it definitely could have been two hours, if the writers had expanded on any of the story lines. i was very sad, though, that all the romantic spark between house and cuddy and house and cameron seemed to be missing. i mean, i know none of them have ever been a "thing", but there's always been something between those two pairs. there was sexual banter between house and cameron, and in the last scene, cameron all but confessed that she was still in love with house [come on, you know it's true], but when hugh and jen were on screen... something that used to be there wasn't. idk, maybe i'm imagining it. maybe i'm reading too much into it. maybe i'm not reading enough. idk. there were some sweet scenes between house and cuddy, though. if those two are gonna get together, i hope they do it already. there's gonna be a lot of seriously pissed off people [including me] if the writers pull a JAG and wait until the SERIES finale to get them together when they've so clearly felt something for each other and even talked about it. [i still don't buy that Mac admitted that she was in love with Harm in season six, and they didn't get together for another 4 years. i mean, come on.]

i'm hot. like temperature-wise. idk, though, i straightened my hair yesterday, and it's pretty darn cute. i even went out into public with no make-up on! that's like huge for me. but yeah, it's really that hot.

speaking of hot, it was hot out today!! i walked outstide to get something, expecting it to be cold like it has been for the past month, and i was like "guh-ross!!" it was like 80 degrees and muggy as all get out. then, of course, the low for this thursday is 29. yay, Texas.

sooooo... i think that's about all i have for now.

love & hugs,

Thursday, January 15, 2009

something deeper.

Audience of One by Big Daddy Weave

I come on my knees
To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,

So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
When all that I have
Is this life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility

And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to your name

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,

And we lift these songs
To you and you alone
As we sing to you
In our praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,

as a Christian, this song is so easy to hear and identify with. you hear it and go, "yeah, what a great message - performing for God alone, not caring what others think". as an artist, musician, and performer, this song is kind of really hard to think about. like the ideal of living only for God and caring only what He thinks is kool and all, but performing an audience of ONE? that's like... scary. think "career suicide". but i have to force myself to realize that He really is all that matters. that He is the only thing that will last. that worldly fame will fade and die, but His knowledge of me will last an ETERNITY. (also a scary topic, but one for another day.)

on another note: what powerful lyrics!

"seeking your face/and not only your hand" is holding my attention for some reason, though i don't fully understand it.

"i find You embracing me/just as i am". it constantly amazes me that God knows absolutely EVERYTHING about us, but loves us any way. and what's more, loves us more than we could ever imagine. He takes us just as we are. rather, he constantly takes us back just as we are.

"in my praises make your home". a house is temporary. a home is forever. our praises to Him should be constant and forever.

"what song could i sing/that would move the heart of Royalty". as a singer i'm constantly thinking about how well songs fit my voice or what song i would perform if i were performing at this or that venue. i never stop to think, though, that God created music. He knows all the chords, He's heard all my bad notes. i could sing better that i've ever sung, i could even be regaled as the best singer of all time. but if it's not in His name, it is worth nothing.

"all that i have/is the life that You’ve given me/so Lord let me live for You/my song with humility". it's so weird to think that the most precious thing i have - my very life - was never mine to begin with. i don't own myself, and to be honest, it's probably a good thing. one, i could never pay the price to get into Heaven. two, it forces me to be accountable. to realize that, though, i have to be humble. i have to live with humility. everything i do should be overshadowed by the glory of God.

"and Lord as the love song/of my life is played". to think the Creator of the universe wrote my life story to be a love song... it brings tears to my eyes.

i hope this song speaks to you. if it doesn't, go find one that does. write about it. and let me know so i can peek into your brain.

Monday, January 12, 2009

for real this time.

current mood: practically asleep
currently watching: E!'s fashion police

the golden globes were AMAZING. they're always my favorite awards show. every one's so relaxed and chill. my current obsession, Olivia Wilde, was nominated by the fashion police for best dressed of the night [idk who won, i watched the first 20 minutes then came to bed b/c i was falling asleep], and she so totally deserved it. she looked beautiful. she absolutely took my breath away. see photos here and read my comment down below.

any way, more to come about the golden globes and fashion hits and misses tomorrow. like i said, i'm basically asleep right now.

oh, side note, i am now officially in love with Kate Winslet. again, more to come on that tomorrow.

love and hugs,

Sunday, January 11, 2009

weird day.

current mood: fragile.
currently listening to: "you raise me up" by selah

i need a hug.

topics to be discussed tomorrow: the west wing and the golden globes.

Friday, January 9, 2009

oh, really? it's friday already? ok kool.

current mood: chilled to the point of boredom
currently listening to: "crazy" by britney spears. love that chick.

so i got a spur-of-the-moment haircut yesterday. my tanning place is really near my hair place, and i was over there, so i went in to see my person and hopefully make an appointment. amazingly she had one open that afternoon. i was originally a little trepidatious about it, i was just gonna get my bangs trimmed. i've been so ready to have long hair again since about 4 months after i whacked it all off in march. she was able to keep all the length, though, and just gave me some amazing layers. i LOVE it. like it just frames my face and falls perfectly. SO if you know me, ask me on myspace or facebook and i'll tell you where i got it done. my person's absolutely amazing.

i think i'm gonna go design this clothes line that's been stuck in my head for a few days now.

love and hugs,

Thursday, January 8, 2009

follow up to "blah"

mood: much much better.
currently listening to: "Tripping Billies" by DMB

...it's amazing what a meal, a couple ibuprofen, and a really good piece of chocolate can do.

i'm off to get a pedicure.


mood: insanely annoyed.
currently reading: houseisright.com

so, every thing's bugging me right now. which is weird cause i'm not tired or, well, i guess i am a little hungry seeing as i haven't eaten in 14 hours. but i don't have any appetite. but that's beside the point. i'm like on this rampage to like fix everything that's wrong in the world. i was reading this blog i subscribe to and there were pictures of the cast of House at the people's choice awards and i totally just ripped into the girls of the show for letting themselves get to skinny and how they represent all the problems of Hollywood and all this terrible stuff. and that's so weird because i love the show and i absolutely adore those women! like practically to the point of idolization. [not really, but you get my point.] and then i was on facebook, and i was seeing some of the stupid things my friends were saying and seeing pictures of under age people drinking and i just had to get away from the site. i would have woken up tomorrow having no friends if i hadn't been able to hold my "tongue".

idk. it just... bah. i'm gonna go watch... something and hope i can get my mind to settle down.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

hormones or something like it

mood: depressed, but really glad i can get this out.
currently listening to: "some devil" by Dave Matthews
warning: this entry is completely depressing, read AYOR.

357 days of the year, i love being single. i revere it. i plan to stay that way forever and never never EVER have kids. [don't get me wrong, i love the crap out of kids. i'm simply NOT cut out to be a mother.]

those other 8 days, though...

anyway, today was one of those 8 days. it started out normally. nothing unusual. then i watched the most recent episode of "superstars of dance". it was so kool! the Americans totally kicked butt and the russian ballerina was amazing!! [of course, she studied at the bolshoi academy. duh.] and i just really wanted some one i could talk to about that. i didn't care if they really cared what i had to say or even about dance at all. i just wanted some one to tell my thoughts to. i got to talk to my mom for a couple minutes [like literally 2] when she came home for her lunch break, but then she had to go back to work. so that was that...

then, i watched last night's episode of "the secret life of the American teenager". (i know, i know. the writing's bad, the acting's worse, and the plot practically spells "contrived", but you care so much about the fates of these characters, you can't not watch. it's definitely a guilty pleasure.) *SPOILER ALERT* the main character and her boyfriend get married. yeah, they're FIFTEEN!!! now, obviously this isn't the fairy tale relationship every girl dreams about. the girl's 15, pregnant, and has now eloped with the guy she's in love with who, btw, is not the father of her child. even still. they got married and had a wedding ceremony at a little chapel and she wore a cream-colored dress and had purple flowers and it was just too cute and sad. i wanted to cry. and not because i'm a wedding-cryer, i'm not. it was just so sad. she'd been through so much and now her parents were getting a divorce and she was having a secret, illegal marriage [oh yeah, they got fake IDs] and nothing was going as planned. and what was even more sad was that i in some ways envied her. i mean, she had a guy who was totally willing to basically risk his future for her, a sister who would stand by her side through ANY thing, two friends who showed up uninvited to be her bridesmaids, and a baby on the way. told you it was sad.

the icing on the cake, ironically, was the funniest show i watched all day. i tivo the late late show, and the host, Craig Ferguson, got married over his Christmas break! like the first shot of the show was just of his left hand. i didn't get it at first. i was like, "something looks off here. OHMYGOSH HE GOT MARRIED!!!" he hadn't said anything at all about it in the weeks leading up to it. he finally showed a picture of the wedding. he was so handsome in his tux, and his bride was BEAUTIFUL. they were married on a farm in vermont in the middle of a snowstorm. everything was covered in snow and beautiful and the two could not have looked happier. and the whole show, Craig could not stop smiling. i mean he was seriously glowing. every single thing he said was "my wife this" and "my wife that". i mean seriously, it was so sweet i think it gave me a cavity. and i only say it was funny because, well, he's a comedian and a talk show host and his show's always funny and so yeah. so i couldn't be sad at this, but still, in the back of my head i was going, "WHAT THE HECK?!? is EVERY ONE getting married except ME?!?!? what is going on here?!?!?!?" [just like that too.]

so yeah. i guess that's that. i had more but i'll have to post it tomorrow. i've now been awake for 20 hours straight for the second day in a row, so i'm pretty tired.

topics to be covered tomorrow: children, specifically sleeping babies, and the biggest loser.


Sunday, January 4, 2009

number one. love.

current mood: insomnia-ic/writer'sblock-ish
currently listening to: rockferry, by duffy


sooooo, yay, blog one!

i've been meaning to create a blog since april. why i haven't done it until now, idk. why i am now, that i do know. but it's not really all that important to you.

i thought and thought and thought about creating my own blog. i considered making it topical, but 1) i'm not obsessed enough with any one thing to maintain a blog on it, and 2) i want a place where i can write freely. i'm probably the most random person you'll ever meet. i know every one says that, but for me it's true. i watched an episode of malcom in the middle a few years ago and malcom tried to describe what it was like in his head. he said something to the extent of, "do you ever feel like your brain is a bee hive, and all the bees buzzing around are your thoughts? well my brain is like a hundred of those, every moment of every day"*. well, malcom, i know the feeling.

so yes. this is why i have named my blog "right randomosity". it will always be random, but hopefully it will be right as well. take that to mean what you will.

as to the actual writing part: in personal writing, grammar is flexible. i still try to follow the rules, but i won't agonize over it. sorry. spelling: i'm not so goodly. yes, there is a spell-check button, but i'm so used to working without one that i will probably forget about it from time to time. once again, sorry. finally, as you've probably noticed, i don't use capitalization. well, that's a generalization. what i should say is i reserve the right to capitalize. haha. i use it mostly to emphasize things (e.g. my nieces and nephews are SO CUTE!!), and for important things like God and country. if any of these things bug you to distraction, sorry. i would suggest you not follow this blog for the sake of your sanity. (that's my nice way of saying, "it's not gonna change any time soon".)

so that's it for now. i will post again soon. probably later tonight if this writer's block doesn't subside.

love and hugs,

*please don't quote me on this, i'm working from a several-year-old memory.