our very own

i don't understand people who become adults and want to live in the same area they grew up in. i mean i guess it's one thing if you grew up in like LA or NYC or i guess really any big city, but the area i grew up in has a population of about 100,000 people.

100,00 people. and it's 2 hours or more to any major metropolitan area. yaaay, Texas.

i'm just never understood that 2.4 kids, house in the suburbs, stay-at-home mom, mini van, dog, white picket fence dream. there's SO much more in the world!! why would you want to stay at home? how would you not go completely crazy knowing there's a whole world out there that you're missing?

this was so my life it's almost not funny. (okay, we didn't have a fence, but i like cliches.) the town i've grown up in is a sweet little place, with history and quirks and small-town charm. but that's kind of the problem, it's a small town. it's so suburban it's disgusting. 95% of our art museums are in classrooms and on refrigerators.

please don't get me wrong, i am so, SO glad that my mom and my sister grew up to achieve their dream, which was to be a stay at home mom. and i am so glad my other sister is achieving her dream. she's going to college to be a chiropractor, and then she's moving back to this area. i'm just saying... i don't get it.

so far away

thinkin' 'bout things i shouldn't be thinkin' 'bout
rememberin' days and years gone by
wishin' i could be there to hug the pain away
it's retarded that i can't be with you tonight

i hate this, bein' away from you,
but bein' with you is so messed up
i love you so much i can't even say
but i know my love'll never be enough

how can we be so far away
yet i'm closer to you than to any one
i wanna be with you when, damnit, i can't
but i'll never give in, i'll never give up

i wish, every day, things were easier for you
you deserve the best, i wish i could give you that
but i hope, in the mean time, that things get better
you're the best, you're the brightest, don't ever give up.

i want to be an actress.

i know that's ridiculous, and i'll definitely post more on this later, but i just wanted to put that out into the universe once and for all.
i've wanted to be on tv since i was 3.
television has always been more than entertainment to me, it's a passion.
i want to be an actress.
i know it's stupid, i know it's crazy, and i know it's not something i'm physically cut out for, but it's what i know, and it's what i love.
i'm going to be an actress.
i know it will take a long time and i'll start out at the very bottom.
i know there will be a lot of rejection and hurt and i'll probably be beat down a lot.
but ultimately i will be working toward my dream.
i will, one day, be an actress.