Thursday, September 30, 2010

1 Corinthians 5-7 [The Message]

ch. 5
vs. 9-13
I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn't make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. I didn't mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You'd have to leave the world entirely to do that! But I am saying that you shouldn't act as if everything is just fine when a friend who claims to be a Christian is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory. You can't just go along with this, treating it as acceptable behavior. I'm not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don't we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary, clean house.

ch. 6
vs. 18-20 (NIV)
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

ch. 7
vs. 17 [i hate this verse]
And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.

vs. 20-24
Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don't mean you're stuck and can't leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I'm simply trying to point out that under your new Master you're going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you'll experience a delightful "enslavement to God" you would never have dreamed of. All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don't, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.

Monday, September 20, 2010


it's occured to me that i do better week-by-week when i set out with goals. it starts me off with a positive attitude and it keeps me on track.
so, goals for this week:
go grocery shopping. make a list, buy healthy.
exercise 2x a day. you've done it before, do it again.
go to choir. leave on time, don't speed!
practice Christmas music. use CD if necessecary.
create a permanent food diary. buy one if needed.
go see dr. ruggiero.
research Colorado (cost, job ops).
practice piano. look for teacher.
practice voice. look for teacher.
calculate weight goals. set timeframe for gns.
get blood work done, garner needed suppliments.
wake up before 7 every day.
research dance classes.
look into FIF cost[s].
work on monologues.
increase work hours.
add to goals list if needed.

Friday, September 17, 2010


i'm never going to be good enough.
i've always heard people talk, from a Christian standpoint, about God bringing your significant other into your life when you're satisfied with Him or when you're content enough or "Christian enough" or whatever.
so i've tried, my whole life, to be content with the fact that i'm single. and to be calm and patient and satisfied and perfect and whatever. but the fact is, i'm never going to be good enough, and, dangit, i don't have to be!!
if i had to be good enough to receive grace, there's no way i'd be saved. if i had to be "Christian enough" to be accepted in my church, i'd be a total outcast. and if i had to look perfect ALL the time, i would have no friends.
so here, i'm going to say what i've been denying for a long time: sometimes it really, REALLY sucks to be single! i outright hate it at times. friends and family are no replacement for a husband. and that's fine, they aren't supposed to be.
now tomorrow i'm going to go right back to being content and patient, but for tonight i'm going to admit that while i know Love, i'm still waiting for my love. and i'm going to revel in the freeing fact that i'm never going to be good enough. i'm never going to be perfect. but one day [and dear Lord, please, oh PLEASE let it be soon!], God will bring me some one who will love me for the beautiful woman God has made me.
and yes, i will work, all my life, to be more Christ-like. but i don't have to be all the way there right now in order to be loved. and praise God all the more for it!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

i want my chance.

so i'm in a really weird place after watching the Rizzoli & Isles season finale.
on one hand i kind of want a hug. on another i don't even want to look at another person right now.
i want to like throw up and punch something at the same time. [that is, the desires coincide, not that i wish for the actions to coincide. that would just be difficult.]
and yet some sick, sadistic part of me wants, more than ever, to be a part of television - to be a part of something so powerful.
it's not that i want to make people cry or whatever, it's that i want to be a part of something that gets people this in touch with their emotions. i want to play a role in something that brings people together in a way that nothing else does like a communal love of fictional characters. it sounds weird or silly, but it's the truth!

Monday, September 13, 2010

cleaning... or lack thereof...

i was sick yesterday. ran a little fever, whatever. i'm over it. but today i've been in a weird mood 'cause i'm in that "well enough to be bored but still too weak to actually do anything" state. and that's just not okay. so i've been like listening to good music and trying to be upbeat and whatever. so i look over and see how many kleenexes have missed my trashcan over the last few days and i'm like, "okay, i'll clean those up and get myself into a cleaning mood and make my room look pretty and then i'll feel better". so i clean up the kleenexes, then turn around, look at what a mess my room is, and am like "yeah... no".
so the moral of my story is: i need a house elf.

Saturday, September 4, 2010


handbell reunion
good friends
working out
Aggies winning
more working out
music practicing
...all have made this a wonderful weekend!
goals for this week:
work out 2x a day (YOU CAN DO IT!!)
bring some one to choir wednesday
meet up with Heather
work on Colorado stuff [[more to come later]]
research disney trip -plane tkts!-
get up early every day
read Bible/have quiet time every day
find/research small group
find voice teacher
keep food diary