i want my chance.

so i'm in a really weird place after watching the Rizzoli & Isles season finale.
on one hand i kind of want a hug. on another i don't even want to look at another person right now.
i want to like throw up and punch something at the same time. [that is, the desires coincide, not that i wish for the actions to coincide. that would just be difficult.]
and yet some sick, sadistic part of me wants, more than ever, to be a part of television - to be a part of something so powerful.
it's not that i want to make people cry or whatever, it's that i want to be a part of something that gets people this in touch with their emotions. i want to play a role in something that brings people together in a way that nothing else does like a communal love of fictional characters. it sounds weird or silly, but it's the truth!